|
Domestic Adoption • DSS Adoption • International Adoption • While You Wait • Tips for New Parents
Large portions of this text were written/provided by Denise Hoppenhauer, and can not be reproduced without express permission of the Author.
Adoption is a joyful yet challenging experience. The adoption process is complex and many people do not know where to begin. The “Adoption Process” page on this website will walk you through the steps you need to take before, during and after you adopt.
Beginning the Adoption Process
Adoption involves researching and evaluating your options, selecting an agency, being matched with a child, and a lot of patience and perseverance. It is not something to enter into without doing your homework first. This should usually take a minimum of several months and is time well spent. If you are considering adoption, here are a few simple steps to get you started.
1. Read books about adoption. An adoption resource book will provide information on different types of adoption. It should also provide an explanation of how adoption agencies work adoption requirements, home studies, and legal issues. Check out our Resources page for books and magazines.
2. Networking via the Internet. There are many adoption Internet resources available. Adoption research and networking can assist you in getting references and locating an agency that will most suit your needs. These websites are operated by nonprofit organizations, like ACES, adoption agencies and professionals, support groups, etc. and include:
a. A variety of topics such as domestic, public & international adoptions, news, financial assistance, medical & educational resources, etc.
b. Chat rooms, e-mail subscriber list and links to additional information. They may provide both pre-adoption and post adoption support.
Check out our Resources page for more adoption-related websites.
3. Contact adoption agencies and have them send you an information packet. Let agencies know that you are just beginning the adoption process and that you would like some information about their programs. As you begin to research adoption, you may not want to meet an adoption agency unless you are reasonably confident that you have a working understanding of the adoption process.
The DSS website has a list of licensed adoption agencies in SC.
4. Attend an adoption seminar. You may want to attend several seminars to compare agencies.
a. Agencies whom you have requested information packets from should send you information about upcoming adoption seminars. These may be included in your information packet or as follow-up information.
b. These seminars are a great way to get first-hand information about agencies you are considering as well as meeting the people with whom you are considering doing business. You may also meet people who are already in the adoption process and those who may go through the adoption process with you.
c. Ask questions and expect straight answers, including questions about fees and payments. Be prepared, you may see pictures or videotapes of children that have been adopted or are currently available for adoption. It may be very emotional and many people may cry. These should not be meant to urge you to “save” these children. Most often this is merely a sad truth of their circumstances.
d. ACES sponsors the Adoption Awareness Expo in January each year. The Expo is a one-stop shop where families can learn about the types of adoption, the adoption process and talk to several agencies and adoptive families. Check out the calendar for upcoming agency seminars and the next Expo.
5. Meet with adoptive parents. Most parents of adopted children are more than willing to talk about their adoption experience with people who are considering adoption. Talk to an adoptive family that you know or with whom you have a mutual acquaintance. If you don’t have these contacts:
a. Talk to adoptive families at your place of worship, civic, or social groups.
b. Call the Department of Social Services (DSS) for a family or get the name of a homestudy investigator who could refer a family.
c. Adoption Agencies may have mentor or buddy programs, but keep in mind these will only be satisfied clients.
d. We can provide you with several families to talk to.
Adoptive families can be your greatest information resource. They may be able to provide personal references and should be able to answer many of your questions.
6. Consider type of child that you want
a. Age may affect your adoption in two ways:
i. First, there may be restrictions based on your age, which may determine what age you may adopt.
ii. Second, what age do you want to parent? The age of the adopted child will determine many of his parenting needs.
1. Do you desire to parent a very young baby, or hope to skip diapers and late night feedings?
2. How will the age affect other children in the home? Because the majority of children adopted internationally and through DSS are older infants, toddlers, or older children, they will have different needs than non-adopted peers or children adopted as newborns. Pre-adoption education, physical preparation, selecting a pediatrician, finding appropriate education, and other necessary resources all must be geared towards the unique needs of an individual child.
b. Ethnicity
i. What race child do you desire to parent? Is a Transracial aoption right for you or do you want to adopt a child who is similar to you in race and color?
ii. If you are considering Transracial adoption, here are some things you need to consider:
1. Is your family or community ethnically diverse? Is one minority prevalent in the area and is it more or less socially accepted?
2. How do you feel about your prospective child’s birth country? How will you acknowledge, accept, and celebrate his cultural heritage?
3. Trans-racial adoption can put families into the spotlight, as physical differences are apparent. You will be asked many personal questions, some of which may be inappropriate. Are you emotionally prepared for this and how will you address the prejudices you and your child will experience?
c. Medical considerations for adopted children are often the first and foremost in consideration in the child selection process.
i. The medical needs of an adopted child may be the result of a pre-existing condition, developmental delays due to inadequate care, abuse or neglect. The child may have been exposed to alcohol and/or drugs in the womb.
ii. Medical records may be non-existent, incomplete, or inaccurate. There may be little or no family history.
iii. Misdiagnosis of medical conditions of international children may be in part due to translation differences, criteria for diagnosis or failure to recognize medical disorders by non-Western trained physicians.
What medical issues are you emotionally and financially equipped to deal with, and what is your acceptable level of risk? Adoptive parents have an obligation to provide their children with the best care available. They must be emotional and financially able to do so. By accepting this challenge, you must accept the responsibility to seek appropriate childcare education that addresses medical or other special needs.
7. Research and check references. It is very important to find a reputable agency. There are a variety of sources to get references or information on complaints and lawsuits on adoption agencies.
a. Contact the Better Business Bureau.
b. Contact DSS to see if the adoption agency is licensed to do business in SC and is in good standing. Go to the DSS website for the list of licensed adoption agencies in SC.
c. You may also try to contact the State Attorney General’s office or possibly the County Courthouse in the county where an agency’s home office is located.
d. For International adoption, contact the United States Consulate in the country you are considering for available information. Consulates process adoption applications and may know if there have been past or frequent problems with an agency.
e. Adoption agencies can provide references but keep in mind they will only give you names of satisfied clients. Adoption networking can help you find your own references.
f. Mention the agency’s name to adoption professionals and see what kind of reaction you get.
Questions you need to ask adoptive families when checking agency references:
a. Would you recommend this agency if you had a family member considering adoption?
b. If they had problems with the agency, how did the agency resolve problems?
c. Did they return calls on a timely basis?
d. In international adoption, were they knowledgeable regarding foreign policy and changes in laws regarding adoption? How did they respond when countries had program changes?
Some other things to consider are:
a. What are the agency’s program requirements?
b. How long have they been in business?
c. How many children have they successfully placed?
d. For international adoption, how many programs (countries) do they have?
e. What type of service do you want from an agency? A smaller agency can give a more personal touch but a larger agency may have more contacts and operate very efficiently.
8. Contact a Homestudy Coordinator (Certified Investigator). The Homestudy is an in-depth review prospective adoptive parents must go through to be able to legally adopt. A homestudy typically includes evaluations of the adoptive parents' relationship, inspections of their residence, parenting ideals, medical history, employment verification, financial status, and criminal background checks. The homestudy process can help you make decisions about which type of adoption you select, and what age child would be best for your family. You must choose what medical issues are acceptable, which ones you are equipped to deal with, and what resources are available.
a. If you adopt through an agency or attorney you will need to get a homestudy coordinator. The Department of Social Services (DSS) can refer you to a licensed social worker who can complete homestudies or to a homestudy agency. This may be necessary if you have not yet selected an agency or if the agency that you have chosen does not have a contact or someone that they work with in the area. Go to the DSS website for the list of certified homestudy investigators in SC.
b. If you adopt through DSS, a certified investigator will be assigned to you.
c. If you are working with more than one agency, check with the agencies to see if one (1) homestudy will satisfy their requirements.
a. DSS - Children may be adopted through SC DSS for only the cost of legal fees.
b. Private domestic or attorney - Costs of adopting a healthy infant in the US may average between $10,000 to $30,000.
c. International - Adoptions range from $18,000 to $45,000 in agency and travel expenses. Fees for adopting in the same country will vary by agency. Be aware of what services are actually covered by adoption fees and possible hidden cost. In many cases, you will have to compare actual services. Adoption fees also vary from country to country. One of the most common complaints among adoptive parents is that the adoption cost more than they expected. Know which services are covered in adoption fees and what other expenses you will incur.
Financial assistance is available to help families pay for the cost of adoption. Subsidies are available for children adopted through DSS. Grants, loans, adoption tax credits and employer assistance are also available. See our Financial Assistance page for more information.
| Type of Adoption |
Estimated Range of Fees |
| DSS |
Up to $1500 for attorney fees |
| Domestic/Attorney |
$10,000 - $30,000 |
| International |
$18,000 - $45,000 |
10. Review Contracts. Here are some things to consider BEFORE signing a contract with an agency:
a. Do not sign contracts until you have had ample time to review them.
b. Do not let an agency pressure you to sign anything that is against your better judgment or until you are ready.
c. Ask questions and when possible have an attorney look over contracts.
d. Do not sign forms with pertinent information missing such as release forms for a referral or power of attorney.
e. Make sure all explanations and services are in writing and expenses are itemized.
Beware of Promises that aren’t in writing. These promises should raise a red flag:
a. “We only place healthy babies, the youngest babies or the prettiest babies.”
b. “We can save this child for you.”
c. “Send money now.” “Sign up now and you can adopt quickly.”
d. “We hand-pick your child for you.”
Questions to ask before signing a contract:
a. In private domestic adoptions, what happens if your adoption falls through? What is the refund policy? If an agency’s policy is to apply money paid towards a second adoption, is this applied in full or is this prorated to cover services rendered?
b. Is this guarantee in writing? Are they willing to put it in writing for you if it is not?
c. Does the agency offer any type of grants or loan programs?
d. Do they offer suggestions on how to make adoption more affordable and are they familiar with tax credits or adoption subsidies?
The two most common areas of complaint by adoptive families are adoption cost (the adoption cost more than they were told) and the information about the child was withheld, inaccurate, or incomplete. Be sure that you are satisfied with the agency’s answers to your questions.
back to top
Domestic Adoption Process
Private agency or Independent Attorney
1. Get a homestudy done
The homestudy consists of home visits, interviews, and background checks. Go to the DSS website for the list of certified homestudy investigators in SC.
2. Contact an adoption agency or attorney.
Once your family has been approved to adopt a child, you need to contact an adoption agency or adoption attorney and start working with them to find a child. One thing you will need to consider is whether you want an open or closed adoption.
a. Open Adoption - the adoptive parents maintain some degree of contact with the birthparents that can range from sending pictures and letters to the birth parents through the adoption agency or attorney or to getting together for visits.
b. Closed adoption - the birthparents and adoptive parents do not meet, do not share identifying information, and do not keep in contact.
3. Create a portfolio
Your family must also create a portfolio of pictures and a letter to the birth mother. The birth mother will look at this when deciding on parents for her child.
4. Get chosen by birth mother and meet her
5. Bring baby home
Once the birth mother has the baby and he or she is released from the hospital, then you can take the child home.
a. If you travel to another state to adopt a child, you must get permission from both states to take the child across state lines in accordance with The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). Your travel time may be 2 weeks while you wait for ICPC clearance.
6. Post-placement visit
Several weeks later, a post-placement visit is done by the agency or attorney in order to make sure the child is doing well.
7. Finalization
About three months later, the finalization hearing takes place and the adoption is finalized.
back to top
Department of Social Services (DSS) Adoption Process
1. Make Inquiry
Call your Area DSS Adoption and Birth Services office or call the state-wide toll free 1-800-922-2504 to receive application material.
2. Complete Application
Return your completed application to your Area Office or S.C. Department of Social Services, Adoption and Birth Parent Services, P.O. Box 1520, Columbia, S.C. 29202.
3. Attend Workshops
a. Adoptive applicants participate in a 4 or 6 session preparation workshop (one evening per week) where applicants share experiences, discuss parenting and coping skills, find out about children available for adoption, and determine their readiness to adopt.
b. At the workshop, you will receive a packet of forms to complete before your homestudy.
4. Homestudy
During the homestudy, you and the social worker/certified investigator decide if you should pursue adoption, your acceptable level of risk, etc. The investigator will gather information and forms to complete the family assessment
5. Placement Committee
A committee of adoption professionals will select you from a pool of approved families based on the need of the child(ren) eligible for adoption.
6. Presentation and Placement
Background information on the child and birthparents is presented to you prior to meeting the child(ren). Based on this information, you may or may not choose to accept the child.
a. If you choose to accept the child, infants are placed following the review of this information. Older children visit several times before moving into their adoptive family.
b. If you do not accept the child, you will still be considered for other children.
7. Post-Placement Visits
During the next few months, a caseworker will help you with your transition into adoptive parenting. The caseworker will make monthly visits and will be available to assist with various issues – locating a therapist, school placement, counseling, etc.
8. Finalization
You and your caseworker decide when you are ready to begin finalization. The legal process takes a minimum of four months from the time adoption placement agreements are signed to the court hearing. The family is responsible for retaining their attorney.
9. Post-adoption Support
Services are provided to families upon request to address adoption-related issues, which may surface after finalization.
back to top
International Adoption Process
1. Select a Country and Adoption Agency
Once you have decided what country you want to adopt from, you will need to select an agency. This may be done simultaneously while you are researching countries. Some families select an agency based on what countries they place children while others will select an agency that they desire to work with and choose from their available options.
a. Find out which programs (Russia, China, etc.) are the adoption agency’s most popular programs. These programs are most likely the ones that they like the best because they operate the most efficiently.
b. Research adoption laws in the country of your choice. Summaries of international adoption law by country, USCIS requirements and procedures can be found at the US Department of State.
2. Homestudy
A homestudy must be completed by a state certified investigator. It is possible to start a homestudy prior to signing up with an adoption agency or professional, but you may wish to wait until you select a country and agency as each will have different requirements. In most cases, you do not have to use the same agency for your homestudy and placement of your child. Go to the DSS website for the list of certified homestudy investigators in SC.
3. Submit application to adopt to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS)
You must receive permission from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services to adopt. The form to be used is the I600a which is found on the USCIS website. This form must be completed and sent to your state CIS office with a cashier’s check or money order for $545.
4. Prepare a Dossier
A dossier is the file of legal paperwork that the country requires for your adoption. Your agency will send you a packet of various forms to complete and a list of required documents you will have to assemble. Each country and agency will have specific requirements and their own forms to use. Completion of your Dossier takes approximately 2-4 months. Documents included in a dossier must be notarized and either apostilled or certified by the Secretary of State and possibly sent to the country’s embassy for further seals and/or translation. You may wish to utilize a dossier preparation service to help prepare your dossier, order vital statistics, etc.
5. Receiving a Referral
Your agency will seek to match your family with a child who will meet the criteria you have provided during the application process. Wait time will vary by country but most have a short wait for referrals of infant and toddler girls but there is usually little wait for referrals of boys. Medical information should be provided for every referral either before you travel or when you meet your child. You may wish to consult with an international adoption specialist to evaluate your referral.
6. Travel
Adoption travel time varies by country. The time spent in your child’s birth country is truly a trip of a lifetime. Your trip may include sightseeing tours, so this is a wonderful opportunity to get to know your child and experience his/her culture first-hand. During your trip, you should have a bilingual agency representative who is available 24 hours a day. Your representative will guide you through the local adoption process, accommodations, transportation, translation, and anything else you may need during your stay. Your agency may arrange group travel with other families traveling to the same country. This is a wonderful opportunity to share in the joys of the adoption experience.
7. Finalization
About three months, later the finalization hearing takes place and the adoption is finalized. Most international adoptions are completed within 12 months.
back to top
While You Wait…
Pre-Adoption Education and Preparation
Once you have been approved to adopt, now is the time to focus on preparing for you new arrival and continuing your pre-adoption education. Older infants, toddlers and older children often have variety of developmental delays due to inadequate care, abuse or neglect. The good news is that children are extremely resilient and can overcome many of their obstacles. However, adopting an older child is not the same as adopting a newborn or young infant and each will come with there own unique circumstances.
Adoptive parents must accept the responsibility to seek and receive appropriate childcare education that is specifically related to adoption and other medical or special needs. Families must research available resources. While many of these services may be provided at no cost to families, they can be the keys to the successful parenting of an adopted child. Check our calendar for support group and training meetings around the state.
Here are some things you can do while you wait:
• Meet other adoptive families.
• Take a parenting class.
• Learn the language of your child’s native country
• Read adoptive parenting books and magazines
• Get proper rest, diet and exercise
• Prepare your home to make your child’s transition easier. Remember everything is new to your child. If possible, ask questions of your child’s caregivers to find out his favorite food, toys, etc.
back to top
Tips for New Parents
• Remain Calm, count to ten, and most importantly, and don’t lose your temper.
• Learn the child’s native language. (This was invaluable.)
• Remember your child is scared. Try to find ways to reassure and comfort him.
• Don’t self diagnose or assume your child has a medical condition, developmental or behavioral disorder based on a short period of time together. If a condition continues or worsens, seek help as needed.
• If your child has developmental delays, get him involved early intervention services ASAP. Services include child development center programs, early intervention, English as a second language (ESL), speech, physical and occupational therapy, etc.
• Find a post adoption support organization.
• Use simple attachment play.
• Pick your child up when he cries. If he has a minor injury, comfort first: ask questions later.
• Establish a routine.
• Feed them as often as they are hungry.
• Try to identify and remove causes of anxiety.
Don’t forget to…
• Apply for a new birth certificate and social security card for your child
• Add your child to your health and life insurance
• Be your child’s best advocate. Take advantage of available financial & medical subsidies, tax credits, reimbursements, & other post adoption services.
Check out our Resources pages for available adoption resources
back to top
|
|
|
|
